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HM in hospital

She’s here! Our precious daughter was born on the 21st of May after a long and hard labor. She weighed 3480g and was 50cm tall when she arrived.

It took us 42 hours from when my water broke until she was put on my belly. I’m not going to go into details and write a birth story, but I will say that it was everything but what I had anticipated. Never in my life would I have thought it would be such a long and painful journey. Granted the first 20 hours I only had mild contractions, but eventually the lack of sleep and exhaustion really got to me.

The beauty of child birth is, though, that you forget the pain as soon as she is out. The minute I saw her my head got clear and I suddenly had a surge of energy and sense of calm about me. It was like this was exactly where I needed to be and I’d finally become who I always wanted to be – a Mom.

HM with Mommy

That doesn’t mean the first 2 weeks have been easy. Far from it. We had feeding problems the first week, which resulted in her getting a fever and us ending up back in the hospital after just 2 days home. I cried a lot during that time, but luckily that’s all behind us now. She’s nursing like a pro and gaining weight as she should, which makes me one happy mamma.

HM with Daddy

I’m so thankful hubby was able to be here for the birth. we only had a 2 week window while he was here, and going through it alone was my biggest fear. I couldn’t have done it without him, honestly. He was such a big support for me throughout the whole process. He kept me going when I thought I didn’t have an ounce of energy left.

I can’t even tell you how much I miss him now that he’s back in Germany. It’s going to be another month before he comes back, and that pretty much feels like a whole year.

Heli Mai B&A

Just to illustrate the craziness of our early days – it took me almost 3 days to write this post. Baby girl’s schedule has been all over the place, and she decided to skip last night, which meant zombie mode for me. I’m so blessed to have my Mom here to help me. She let me sleep during the day in between feedings, which is why I’m even capable of finishing this post at the moment.

Despite all the hard stuff, it’s an incredibly special time. Becoming a Mom has been the most incredible experience and I’m beyond happy to have Heli Mai in my life. The kind of love that you feel for your child cannot be described or understood until you have a child. And boy, do I have a new sense of gratitude towards my own Mom now. I didn’t quite get what she has given me before now.

Sending all the Moms out there my best! You are all amazing!

xo. Hanna

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